You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
