Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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