Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
