don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
