You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
