I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
