You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize