I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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