I heard we made out
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
