ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
