i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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