you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
