I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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