You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
