FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
