I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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