how can u be prego again
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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