I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
