Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
