I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
