Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
