real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I lost the right to judge tonight
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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