sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
