Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
