that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
