I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
