I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
