She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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