sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How external is "for external use only"?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
