His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
