You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
