Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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