i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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