Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize