these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
