Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just threw up on my dentist
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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