I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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