And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need water and some morals
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
