I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
