soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize