I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
