It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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