you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize