We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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