you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
