I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
