I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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