I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
