remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
