I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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