This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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