if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
