Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
