We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
