i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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