As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
