I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize