He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
