i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
