you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They have beer where we have blood.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
